Brain Food, Dear diary

#13

*8 a.m. – the alarm is ringing through my sour dream.*

Waking up in a roller coaster. I’m up here in my little black outfit, black pumps and my J. Lennon sunglasses. After I’ll finish my coffee, I’ll be ready for another ride.

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Why are you hanging out there ? I see you abandon the field, afraid to risk, afraid to not get hurt. Afraid to not die. I saw you creeping around, maybe you’re playing hide and seek, maybe you want to run away like a coward … Do you like the winter ? I love coldness, white, snow. Winter is my boyfriend, but I’m in an love affair with the summer. When my soul is frozen, summer will embrace me. 

Continue reading “#13”

Artwork, Brain Food, Dear diary, digital art

#11

11

Warning. Full fiction content.

He was heavily bleeding. Ready to attack but unable to get up. Trapped, lost in an unknown universe filled with dreadful creatures, moving in a balance together singing the battle rhapsody. Wherever he was looking objects kept on moving around him, he was floating around tainted words in that void. He doesn’t want to be rescued.

She left him in a state of consciousness but still his fragile soul was dreaming of promises and left behinds in an ugly world where angels bring nothing but death. His pretty mind was the only what kept him alive. I can’t save him, I can’t touch him because if I do, I’m afraid he will get attached to something that doesn’t exist. He would suffer as he is suffering now. If only I could kill that pain but my hand is the only one who caused the damage he is dealing with. His cards were on the table, on the path to win this match, but something happened. The cards were thrown away from the table and the wind blew them far away so nobody could find them. He doesn’t deserve this pain, he should be the one standing in my place, and he should be the one winning this game.

This was his game, his ideas, his pinions. You were the one who made me a monster. I only try to find excuses for my pitiful mask. I only want to get rid of the berserk that hides inside of me, I want to set it free to roam around and kill as many souls as it desires. But, it won’t leave because that is my true identity, that psycho murderer. She is me, I am nothing but her slave. Now I know the reason I was kept in that dark corner.

I am watching him, he is looking towards me. I leave my sword on the ground, drop my shield and armor and head toward his direction. He has confused eyes but my heart is the confused one, is the one tricked by my mind.

I kneel besides him and whisper : “Now kill me.”

 


Check out the previous diary entry, #10

Surreal woman face source :

THE BLACK GARDEN


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petit ☮

Brain Food, Dear diary

#9

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I’m a monster with a pretty face. You will go away too like the others did. I know it. You will get infected, become broken and suffer in misery. You will want to run away and never return again. My claws will smash your little heart into pieces, but when I will realize the damage done, it will be too late. You’ll be drowning in those deep muds screaming for help. I will be possessed by the dark mask, blinded and binded to its fate.

As I lay in my bed, light up a cigarette and watch a cloud passing by. Everything is still, static, passive. I desire to touch, my curiosity reaches my limits, can’t control it. I can’t see the sun, I don’t need it.

I close my eyes while collapsing on my pillows and ending watching the ceiling. That blank ceiling, a painful image for my soul yet depressing. I’m waiting for something to happen. I desire to talk, but how could possible someone talk to me ? There is nothing left of me to talk with. I’m empty as that coke bottle you just drank. Emptier than my crushed cigarette. Don’t try to save me, I don’t want and not in the need of being saved. I’m nothing but another creep, wandering around, searching for another lost soul.

I’m a monster. Breathing underwater like a newborn, singing you a lullaby poisoning your grotesque soul.


Song of the day : Sleepy Sun – New Age

Petit ☮


 

Check out the previous diary entry, #8