Brain Food, Dear diary


*8 a.m. – the alarm is ringing through my sour dream.*

Waking up in a roller coaster. I’m up here in my little black outfit, black pumps and my J. Lennon sunglasses. After I’ll finish my coffee, I’ll be ready for another ride.


Why are you hanging out there ? I see you abandon the field, afraid to risk, afraid to not get hurt. Afraid to not die. I saw you creeping around, maybe you’re playing hide and seek, maybe you want to run away like a coward … Do you like the winter ? I love coldness, white, snow. Winter is my boyfriend, but I’m in an love affair with the summer. When my soul is frozen, summer will embrace me. 

Continue reading “#13”

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Warning. Full fiction content.

He was heavily bleeding. Ready to attack but unable to get up. Trapped, lost in an unknown universe filled with dreadful creatures, moving in a balance together singing the battle rhapsody. Wherever he was looking objects kept on moving around him, he was floating around tainted words in that void. He doesn’t want to be rescued.

She left him in a state of consciousness but still his fragile soul was dreaming of promises and left behinds in an ugly world where angels bring nothing but death. His pretty mind was the only what kept him alive. I can’t save him, I can’t touch him because if I do, I’m afraid he will get attached to something that doesn’t exist. He would suffer as he is suffering now. If only I could kill that pain but my hand is the only one who caused the damage he is dealing with. His cards were on the table, on the path to win this match, but something happened. The cards were thrown away from the table and the wind blew them far away so nobody could find them. He doesn’t deserve this pain, he should be the one standing in my place, and he should be the one winning this game.

This was his game, his ideas, his pinions. You were the one who made me a monster. I only try to find excuses for my pitiful mask. I only want to get rid of the berserk that hides inside of me, I want to set it free to roam around and kill as many souls as it desires. But, it won’t leave because that is my true identity, that psycho murderer. She is me, I am nothing but her slave. Now I know the reason I was kept in that dark corner.

I am watching him, he is looking towards me. I leave my sword on the ground, drop my shield and armor and head toward his direction. He has confused eyes but my heart is the confused one, is the one tricked by my mind.

I kneel besides him and whisper : “Now kill me.”


Check out the previous diary entry, #10

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Song of the day :


petit ☮

Artwork, Brain Food, Dear diary, digital art



Warning. Full fiction content.

She dragged me into those deep waters. With her iron claw she fetched his arm, drawing him closer to the road. I was unable to move, silenced to death maybe, maybe I was the one who wanted to be silenced. I saw him struggling, trying to help himself out. Her face and her body were transforming into something monstrous. She will kill the gods.

Within a second she smashed his arm posing as a Goddess. She was growling from the depth of her released soul, imposing, showing her fearless side, her darkest side but yet beautiful. He was unable to do anything, under her pressure he was a worthless dead man. I was struggling to get out and beg her to leave him be, to let his precious soul alive but I was bonded with the straps of her soul. She left me in this corner, in this coldness, she nearly forgot about my pitiful soul, left me alone. Why would I want to watch you ? Why would I want you ? I’m nothing but a leftover.

She never approached me, she only wanted his soul and I was only the bait. The lure she used to get to him. I was her precious object until now when I became the useless scrap you throw out, the dirt you seem to hate. They asked me once : “Are you hurt ? Do you feel pain ?”, I answered them that I forgot how pain really used to feel.

I got soaked into its abyss hanging there forever. Trapped in an imaginary lonely world which would never end. She keeps me inside, releasing me when there’s no more darkness. I’m just her pretty mask. But he penetrated that dark membrane dragging me out of it. He saved me. He could left me there in the cold.

Still, I want to kill him.

Song of the day :

petit ☮

Check out the previous diary entry, #9