Brain Food, Dear diary

#13

*8 a.m. – the alarm is ringing through my sour dream.*

Waking up in a roller coaster. I’m up here in my little black outfit, black pumps and my J. Lennon sunglasses. After I’ll finish my coffee, I’ll be ready for another ride.

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Why are you hanging out there ? I see you abandon the field, afraid to risk, afraid to not get hurt. Afraid to not die. I saw you creeping around, maybe you’re playing hide and seek, maybe you want to run away like a coward … Do you like the winter ? I love coldness, white, snow. Winter is my boyfriend, but I’m in an love affair with the summer. When my soul is frozen, summer will embrace me. 

I open wide my eyes, still laying in my bed, I look up to the sun and light up a cigarette : I need a change. Maybe a new hair color. Maybe I should only change the bed sheet. No … I’m going to lay here until my body will shout in ache.  I have no inspiration for today, the sun is not shining enough to make it warm. Oh, it’s only Sunday. Maybe I should just continue dreaming …

Picture me in that black outfit. Still here. Roller coaster ride. I see you there stalking, wanting, deceivingshining. I can fly pretty high, my wings can make it far enough. I wish I could not see you at all, see your miserably pain, suffering alone, closing up, refusing to let it go, refusing help. Such a pitty. Oh darn it ! My wings are black from the dust you left behind. At least they can still take me through the hard wind. Oh the sky is so beautiful here. I fly higher and higher, slowly the image becomes so blurry and I hear a jazzy tune in the background …

Suddenly I open my eyes. Weird, I have some old dust marks on my back.


Check out the previous diary entry,  #12

Song of the day : Jan Garber – I’ll see you in my dreams

petit ☮

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