Brain Food, Chit-chat

Chit-Chat : About expectations

EN : When we meet a person, we analyze every single detail : behaviour, body movements, looks, the way the person is talking. All these factors lead us to a general opinion on the individual and somehow, expectations, yes, they already appear and practically  are made up by our mentality which of course varies from person to person.

But I ask myself : Is is normal to have such expectations from persons that we barely know ? What expectations ? Well, for example, we are at a get-together with our dear ones and “the intruder” shows up, the one who we analyze in detail and we expect him/her to be : interesting, charismatic, to be as the ideal friend from our dreams. I assume that all of us have a form, a prototype, a mixture of principles in mind which are hard to reach.

As some teachers do which have expectations that a student to fulfill their ideals, and when he/her doesn’t do it, the teacher will take it as an offense or will judge with “I don’t like it” instead of an objective opinion (from my own experience). I’ve been to many college presentations so far in which took part teachers and students. After so many students have shown and presented their projects I realised that there were too few comments from the teacher that do not begin with “I don’t like it”.

That “I” became increasingly worst, I was realizing that there’s no clear opinion, no final conclusion and it became odd. Why odd ? Because myself in my turn, and my colleagues, had a single expectation : an objective opinion.

Final conclusion ?

RO : In momentul in care intalnim o persoana, analizam fiecare detaliu in parte : comportament, miscari ale corpului, privire, modul de a vorbi. Toate aceste elemente determina o parere generala asupra individului si oarecum, asteptari, da, deja apar acele asteptari inventate practic de mentalitatea fiecarei persoane care variaza desigur, de la persoana la persoana.

Insa ma intreb : Oare este normal sa avem asteptari de la persoane pe care abia le cunoastem ? Ce asteptari ? Spre exemplu, suntem la o intrunire cu persoane dragi si apare acel “intrus” pe care il analizam in detaliu si ne asteptam sa : fie interesant, sa fie carismatic, sa fie precum prietenul/amicul ideal din vise. Presupun ca, cu totii avem o forma, un prototip, un amalgam de principii in minte care sunt greu de atins.

Precum o fac unii profesori (fie din invatamantul superior, liceu, scoala generala) care au asteptari ca un student sa le indeplineasca idealurile proprii, iar cand acesta nu o face, o va lua ca o jignire adusa propriei persoane sau va judeca cu “mie nu imi place” in locul unei pareri obiective (din proprie experienta). Pana acum am asistat la mai multe sustineri realizate in cadrul facultatii, sustineri la care luau parte atat profesori cat si studenti. O sumedenie de studenti si-au prezentat proiectele si am realizat ca au fost prea putine comentarii venite din partea profesorilor care sa nu inceapa cu “mie nu imi place”.

Acel “mie” devenea din ce in ce mai groaznic, realizam ca nu exista o parere clara, o concluzie finala, lucru care mi s-a parut ciudat. De ce ciudat ? Deoarece si eu la randul meu, precum si colegii mei, aveam o singura asteptare : o parere obiectiva.

Concluzie finala ?


Of course she is not fierce, she was just helping me out studying (smile). Good luck on exams !


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